utorok 29. januára 2019

What did I leave in 2018?

Hello. This post is long overdue, but I still decided to write it. Just because. I can. 2018 was really intriguing, frankly I don't like looking back and I know that that makes me a hypocrite, but I need to vent- I need to let it go.
I would say 2018 was a rollercoaster. It ended up way lower than I expected It- if you get my metaphor. Having experienced so many heartbreaks, I can proudly say it had made me a stronger person, albeit it had destroyed the remaining pieces of my healthy authentic self. I had lost so much and when I realised it later this year, it brought me down to my knees. Feeling more than perplexed, I would even go as far as saying a little bit insane, I started my 2019 on a bad note. My resolutions and expectations paled into insignificance. I am sorry for saying all This, no one likes a negative girl, but this is the raw truth and my naked feelings .
I was being cheated on by the ones I loved the most. I was left alone by the ones I loved the most. I was betrayed by the ones I had gifted my time, heart and soul to. Having grasped for a little bit of air, like drowning Ophelia, I found myself at my wits end again when my mom was commited to hospital. She suffered a heart attack. Since then, nothing has been the same. She is no longer working, but fortunately, she is feeling a lot better and she seems happier than ever!
A lot of events in 2018 have changed my perspective on certain things and subsequently, led me to immense emptiness and solitude. All I long for now, is a little time to process things and to let go of these past demons and daunting memories. I wish me luck. And I wish you luck too.