DEAR DIARY

Hello everybody. I am starting a new "post series" called Dear diary (I think it is self-explanatory what is it gonna be about). I just want to share my feelings and other random stuff..

It was Sunday evening, around 8 pm and I was walking down the street straight to the bus stop. I went to Firework Festival. Fun fact, I wasn't invited. I didn't ask my friends to go with them, neither they did. I just stupidly ask them if they were going (of course I knew they were), and they said yes. And I said have fun. And after an embarrassing moment of silence they said 'You can go with us.' So I went. But I had no idea where exactly it was and when are we meeting. I was confused. "Why am I even going?"

I found myself on bus stop with these bad thoughts running through my head. I was scared. It was dark and drunk people were passing by. I just wanted to be with someone.

Finally, I came to the shopping centre where it was all about to happen. I was stressed. So many people were there. And I felt alone.  And lost. I felt like a lost soul going through a crowd of another lost souls. Or maybe just confused existencies. I eventually bumbed into my friends. We went out, sat on the ground and waited until it started. My girlfriend M was there with her boyfriend A. Also, one boy from my class and another friend from our school was there. So we sat down and waited. They were talking about a camp they went to, and I was there feeling so alone. You don't even know how glad I was when the firework started. M and A romantically layed together and watched the show. I sat next to my friends and quietly watched it thinking about someone I should't think of at all. Tears were getting to my eyes and I knew I should be graceful not sad. I realized how lucky I was to have these friends.

After the show, I smiled and stood up. M came to me and said 'I'm glad you went with us.' And in that moment I knew I wasn't alone. And I stopped thinking about the person I shouldn't think of.

I didn't ask whether I can go, because I thought my 'foundation' wasn't strong enough to handle rejection. But now I know I can ask them whenever I want. And I hope they won't say no. :)

BITTERSWEET TRAGEDY

Hello everybody! How are you? :)

*Fall inspiration.*

As some of you know, I love fall/autumn. It is my favourite time of the year. I love the melancholy and silence it gives. Autumn is so mysterious and kind of scary to me. I love the falling leaves and rainy days. You just lay in bed with your cosy blanket and favourite tea. Omg I love it so much.

Although, autumn is so beautiful, it also brings sadness to humans mind. People are going deeper to themselves and figuring out things. Maybe they think about the new school year. Maybe they feel alone. They feel alone because they are hidden deep inside their mind. Maybe they go crazy because of the tranquil atmosphere and they are scared of the spirits on Halloween. So please, when fall comes, go outside and enjoy the magnificent weather! (In other words: do not go crazy!)

But that's besides the point. Not long time ago, I took some pictures, because I got really inspired by mixing different textures. Do you like mixing textures and different materials?

Crop top-H&M
Skirt-H&M
Shoes-Deichman

Tittle:

Do you think skirts are appropriate for autumn? Let me know! :)

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AVON HAUL

Hello everybody? How's it going?

I have never done a haul on my blog, so this is a new experience for me. A little while ago, I ordered some things for Avon, bc I love this company. This post isn't sponsored or anything, I just want to share these products with you. Maybe I can do a review about them in future. What do you think?

*Pictures didn't turn out very well.*

I was ordering from their site which is https://avononline.avon.sk/ .

 These 3 products (shower gel, body lotion and a body mist) came as a set. I wanted it mainly for the fragrance which is on the last picture/ on the left picture. It says it smells like Sweet sugar plum and vanilla. I know, sounds crazy, but to be honest it smells like heaven.  They didn't have it separately, so I ordered this set for 5,90 euro. I didn't mind it because I am out of shower gel and body lotion anyway.

 Moving on, I ordered this spot treatment. I think it's obvious what is this for and why I ordered it. I have terrible skin and acne. I hope it'll help. It says it has 2% of salasylic acid, which is good for acne prone skin. I am excited to use it.

And finally, this gel cleanser or face wash whatever. Again another skin care product. I like to try new skin care products since my skin is so bad and nothing helps.

Do you want me to do a review about any of these products? If so, let me know!

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GRUNGE p.7

Hello everybody! How are you? I hope you are fine. :)

This is a typical grunge post that I have been doing ever since I started this blog, but I thought I would also add some of my favourite quotes, ya know just to make things a bit more interesting.

Last grunge post

 Sorry for calling you a bitch, I thought you already knew.

Someone told me to stay away from things that aren't yours,

but was he your when we wanted me so bad?

 It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Oh, all the time that I have wasted chasing rabbits down a hole, 

when I was born to be the tortoise, I was born to walk alone.

Do you know any of these quotes? Let me know! 

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SUMMER PLAYLIST/MUSIC FAVES p.1

Hello everybody! How are you? I hope you are fine. :)

Everyone loves music and I am no exception. In summertime, everyone enjoys music a lot more in my opinion, just because we are listening to it with our friends and family and making memories to those songs. Then we play them on repeat until it gets boring.

I have been thinking about my favourite songs and why not to share them with you? You can also share your favourite songs in the comments!

Throughout the whole summer I have loved Billy Talent, especially their Viking death march(video). But I have also enjoyed Hanging by a thread, Standing in the rain and Red flag.

Lana is a classic for me. I love her. Besides the Honeymoon, I also loved Body electric, Off to the races.

It would not be a proper summer playlist without a love of my life Marina. She is my favourite artist, singer and role model. I loved her song Forget and also Cant pin me down. 

And lastly, A Day To Remeber. I have been playing all of their songs on youtube so I do not know the exact names, but I liked All I want the most.

Which songs have you been loving? What are your faves? Leave me a comment!

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MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN

Hello everybody? How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. :)

*These pictures were taken on my trip to Žilina.*

As you can see I am deeply in love with that skirt.

Tank top- Gate
Skirt- H&M
Shoes- Deichman
Bag- H&M
Bracelet- gift

Tittle:

Have you ever been to Žilina? Which city do you want to visit the most? Let me know!

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MISS Y

Hello everybody? How are you today? :)

*These photos were taken on my trip to Žilina, which I mentioned in some of my previous posts.*

 Ok hair

Blouse- H&M
Skirt- H&M
Shoes- Deichman
Bag-H&M
Bracelet- gift

Tittle:

I WALKED ALL NIGHT LONG IN THE DARK JUST TO BE STANDING HERE, ONLY TO FEEL LIKE NOBODY I´M MISS Y AM I HERE.

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DRESDEN OUTFITS 3/3

Hello everybody! How are you doing? I hope you are doing well!

This is the last outfit from the "Dresden series". You can see the second outfit here.  In the previous Dresden outfit post I apologized for horrible quality. The quality is slightly better in this post. I hope you enjoy. :)

My bby Alex took these pictures. Love you!

Tee- thrifted
Skirt- C&A
Shoes- Deichmann

What do you wear in hot weather? Are you obsessed with skirts like I am? Let me know!

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SUMMERTIME (HAPPINESS)

Hello everybody! How are you? I hope you are ok. :)

I am finally at home after one week trip to Žilina (photos coming up soon). I was looking after my two little cousins and it was fine. I've gained weight, so that's a sad thing, but other than that I've been feeling good. Kind of..Actually, I gained wight in the beginning of the summer.

Today, I decided to add some pictures from the beginning of the summer. Me and my friend Daisy/Maggie (she was on my blog before) went out and took some silly pictures.  I hope you enjoy . :)

 Look at those thighs..ugh

 No no no

But I am happy anyway..
What the f is with my crop top :DD I rolled up the sleeves, bc it was so hot.

Crop top- F&F
Shorts- C&A
Shoes- Deichman
Bag- H&M
Glasses- Next

Are you happy? Are you enjoying summer? Let me know!

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DEEP STUFF

Hello everybody! How are you today? I hope you are fine.

Today I want to talk to you about everything (I don't mean anything specific). I don't even know what I am about to write, to be honest. I just want to talk to you.

I've been having very strange time. I am both sad and happy at the same time. I laugh a lot, yet it hurts inside. I am happy a lot, but I am also depressed and anxious. Partially, it is because I broke up with my boyfriend. He was (and maybe still is) a big part of my life and it's hard to exist without him. I miss the comfort of having someone to love me and I also miss someone to love. But at the same time, I'm glad it's over because I want to move on and I want to live. I want to learn how to be myself and how to love/accept myself. I want to find some friends. I want to be happy.

You know, it wasn't me when I was with him (my boyfriend). I wasn't myself. I was too ashamed to be myself, because I knew he wouldn't like me the way I am. And this is what I want to change. I want to be strong and brave enough to be myself. I don't want to feel deeply embarassed infront of everyone. I don't want to be anxious when I eat or even talk. This is not the way I want to be. I think now I am strong enough to change my life. I think I can handle the 'haters'. And even if I can't, I can still take pills.

This is another thing I want to talk about. My illness. It's not that bad as it was in 2013/14 but it's still there. When I started the first year of high school, my anxiety and depression affected my life a lot (including my blog). I used to stay at home and gossip a lot. I would be hateful even though I did not have a reason. I would act like a weirdo or like a loner. My classmates wouldn't get it(who would?). That's why I didn't really make any friends. My mind was a mess and every single thought was negative. My mind set up was so bad. I was emotionally unstable. And I am sorry. I wish I could tell this to my classmates, I wish I was strong enough at the time. But I wasn't. And life goes on. I need to change a lot of things. I am trying to change the way I think. I don't want to be concerned only on bad things. I know I can change it. And I want this blog to help me. We can help each other.

That's all for today, I hope I didn't bored you to death. 

'See' you soon!

DRESDEN OUTFITS 2/3

Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you are fine. :)

This is the second outfit from Germany. The quality si very very very bad. I am so sorry, but I cannot do anything about it, since these pictures were taken by Alexs iPad and were sent to me. I would really like to fix it, but I can't. In fact, I do not understand why is the quality so bad.

Dress- H&M

Shorts-H&M (the dress is very short that's why I am wearing shorts underneath it)

Shoes-H&M

I should be sponsored by H&M.

Again I am very sorry for the quality. The next outfit pictures are going to be, unfortunately, the same quality as these ones. I am sorry. 

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ALTSTADT, DRESDEN

Hello everybody! How are you doing? I hope you are ok!

Here are some photos from my trip to Dresden, Germany. I promised it in my last post, so I hope you enjoy!

This town is very pretty. I loved the "old town" as much as I loved the "new town". I loved the buildings and just the athmospere was amazing. I am very graceful that I got to be there and I hope that I will visit this gorgeous city again. 

Have you ever been to Germany? If so, in which city? Let me know! 

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