SOLITAIRE

Do you ever get that feeling of daunting loneliness- even when standing in the crowd? As if you were just a wandering soul, no one really sees you or acknowledges you. You are just floating around like a balloon at which people look at for a slight second and then turn away and forget about it. Do you ever just find yourself observing other people who are not alone? As if you were trying to get the idea of how does a relationship work or maybe how to communicate with others.
Do you ever just find yourself laying in bed for days..not speaking to anyone  but your close family members. Slowly but surely backing away even from them. Closing your inner self and shutting them out.
Not on purpose though.
This is how I feel.
I am not pushing you away. I am just holding back in case you find me annoying. I am just holding back in case you decide you don't want me in your life anymore. I am not leaving you. I am protecting myself. You can always find me in my solitude quietly waiting for you. I am always here.
I am not the one who makes good conversations or good first impression. Don't look for that in me. I am shy and I am trying to figure out how to not look completely crazy. I am sorry I can't do better. I am a loner. And that's who I have always been and who I will always be. I walk my way alone and if you want to chat I will be more than happy, but I am sorry for not knowing how to make the first step.
Please don't judge us, solitaires. We are soft souls, too vulnerable to be fully opened to the world. We may be misunderstood, but that doesn't make us lunatics. Next time you notice a loner go ahead and try to make a small conversation. Be kind and loving- you don't even know how much it can change his/hers day. Use your power wisely.